I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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