Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
