she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
