I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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