Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need to sanitize my soul.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
