Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
