how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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