hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
