I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
