i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The uberlube is also flammable
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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