is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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