I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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