stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My cat gives me a boner
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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