people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
