the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
