my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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