I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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