R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i love accidental penises.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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