Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
