I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
