he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
