You smell like stripper and shame
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize