I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sext me about skeletons
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
