Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
