at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
