i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
