oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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