shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the day after is always just damage control
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
