I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
