god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
