Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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