Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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