Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
