Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
