It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
