awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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