I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
