Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize