He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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