I think my vagina is haunted
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
