what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't deserve a penis
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize