last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
