he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
