I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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