I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
