...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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