winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
