My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
