Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize