a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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