Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
