i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
