2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
