carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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