And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
