Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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