im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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