God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
