I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
