Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I have already put on my inside pants.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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